


Blue Eyed Suicide

by 666Archangel



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Cute, Fluff, M/M, Sad, tragic end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 10:18:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4873018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/666Archangel/pseuds/666Archangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fifteen-year-old Castiel Novak's life was never anything but tragic. The poor depressive teenager wanted nothing more than to be considered 'normal', and the circling rumors of him being gay weren't helping the slightest. Up until he meets Dean Winchester, who changes Castiel's life for the better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction/Background (Extra)

It had already been two years since the accident had occurred to Castiel Novak.  
All Castiel ever wanted was to be a normal teenager. But there were slight minor issues with his desire to be considered normal, and that was because of his sexuality, and the fact that he was a mute. Not a mute by choice, but by force.  
When Castiel was approximately three years old, his older brother Lucifer put a knife to his throat. It started out meaning absolutely nothing. When Lucifer wanted Castiel to do something for him, he would threaten him by putting that knife to his throat. Lucifer, in particular mainly just made Castiel do simple things; Cleaning his room, doing his chores, keeping Cas quiet when Lucifer had a party when parents were away, ect. But one night, it was different. Things got more and more out of hand. One cold November night, Lucifer came home late at night exceptionally intoxicated from his friend's party.He ending up stumbling into his, Castiel's, and their other brothers' Michael and Gabriel's room, and slamming the door closed. Castiel was the first to wake up and see Lucifer in his drunken state.  
"Lucifer what the hell are you-"  
"Shshsh... Be quiet, Ca-Castiel.." Lucifer cut Cas off by his slurring as he held up a knife uncomfortably close to Castiel's throat. Cas knew Lucifer was far beyond just a little intoxicated,because of the smell of alcohol that lingered on his breath and the fact that the knife on his throat was not being held steadily like it would usually be. This time, Cas was legitimately afraid that Lucifer was going to kill him.

"Lucifer please I-" 

"I said.. Be QUIET, Casti-el."Lucifer whispered psychotically, pressing the knife harder on Cas's throat to the point where it hurt Cas to simply inhale. 

Suddenly, Michael awoke to this very scene. Castiel's blue eyes widened, as did Michael's green eyes. Cas gave him the look of not to say anything, but Michael didn't understand the sign. Lucifer turned around swiftly and saw him gaping at what was appeared before him.

"You little shit." Lucifer said turning back to Cas and then suddenly dug and slashed his knife into Castiel's throat. Quickly, Castiel began feeling dizzy. If he could've gasped or screamed, he would've. The only thing that he remembered before the blackout from loss of blood, was the screams of his name from Michael, then his parents rushing in and crying and screaming,yelling to call 911. 

Once Castiel woke up in the hospital, he was told that he was lucky the cuts were not too deep, the only thing he lost the ability of was to speak or use his vocal chords at all. He had to get several stitches for his throat, but he recovered soon enough. Lucifer got put in a mental institution for twelve years. It started out rough for Castiel, having to learn sign language and everything.

A few months after the incident,their father got killed in a car accident. That's when Castiel Novak's life started going more downhill than it was. His mother developed an alcoholism problem, she smoked, and stopped caring about a lot of things; her children especially. 

After having to do endure that,Castiel only had his brother's to lean on, and he was okay with that.


	2. Chapter One

"Castiel! Breakfast!" I hear my brother, Michael, call downstairs from the kitchen. I roll over on my side on my bed, for the mere aroma of food made me sick to my stomach.

 I hear my brother's footsteps coming up into my room, he pushes the door open more and leans against the door frame carelessly.

 "You going to sleep all day, sleepyhead?" He chuckles, his voice dripping with a sarcastic tone.

 _Can I?_ I sign to him

"No. You have your first day of high school today, Castiel. Now get up, get ready and come downstairs when you're ready."

 I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, remembering I have to go back to school as a freshman. I had no friends, or anyone I knew, for one. Plus, I didn't think anyone would want to be my friend anyways. After a minute or two of procrastinating, I finally decided to get up and out of my bed. Throwing on a pair of black skinny jeans, a black Ramones T-shirt, anda black trench coat. I takeone last look into my bathroom mirror before I start heading downstairs, my reflection consisted of a boy with black messy hair in his deep blue eyes, wearing all black and the obvious look on his face that was forcing him to smile a little. As I walked downstairs into my kitchen, I see my brothers Michael and Gabriel waiting for me with the car keys in their hand.

 "Ready to go, goth boy?" Gabriel snickers in a teasing manner, Michael slaps him upside the head and snatches the keys from Gabriel'shands, then looks at me.

 "You ready to leave, Castiel?" Michael smiles, I smile back and nod as I pick up my backpack and follow them out to the car.

\+ + +

 I walk-in late to my first period class.

Great.

As I walk into the room, all the eyes turn to me. The teacher that was previously speaking to the class before I walked in gave me somewhat of a glare.

 "Son, you better have a damned good reason why you are late to my class." He stated, I walked up to him and tried to give him a slip that Michael wrote for all seven of my teachers, each one of them explaining that I could not talk because of my vocal chords.

 "I didn't ask for a information slip. Now talk to me!" I began to get frustrated.

 So I went up to the chalkboard he had, picked up a piece of white chalk and scribbled down: My name is Castiel Novak. I cannot speak because when I was young, my vocal chords got cut. The teacher mouthed an 'oh' and proceeded to tell me to take a seat. I sat in the back row by myself, I preferred lonliness so I wouldn't have to deal with the bullshit of others.

 About ten minutes later, the classroom door opened. The boy that came into the room, came into the room so carefree, as if he was too cool just to be breathing the same air as the rest of us.

"Name?" Our teacher asked, marking him down for late as well.

 "Dean Winchester."

"Take a seat in the back, next to, uh, Castiel there."

The boy named Dean came over to me and sat down, leaning in his chair a little. Up close, he looked absolutely perfect. He had dirty blonde hair, freckles smeared on his cheeks, and the prettiest bright green eyes I've ever seen.

Once he looks over at me, I realize I've been looking at him for a long moment and I blushed hard, looking away from him and pretending to listen to what our teacher is telling therest of our class.

 Dean smiles and leans on the table slightly, leaning his face on his handlightly, his bright green eyes grazing over me.

 "Hey, my name is Dean." His lips curl into a perfect little smirk, barely just exposing his brightwhite teeth. I smile, then quickly open up to a page in my notebook writing down:

  _Hello, Dean :) My name is Castiel._

Dean chuckled softly for a minute. "Why the pen and paper?"

_My vocal chords are fucked up._

 "Sucks. I'm sorry."

 Castiel dismissed it with a wave of his hand, telling Dean that it was alright. Castiel was beginning to like this boy a little. This boy with the stupid blonde hair, the stupid green eyes, and the stupid dorky smile that Castiel loved seeing.


	3. Chapter Two

That's when the bell for lunch rang.

 "I'll see you around, Castiel." Dean smirked, picking up his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.

 I just waved a small goodbye with a smile. I got up from my desk, and picked up my belongings as well, and walked to the cafeteria for lunch alone.

 The cafeteria was filled with the freshmen kids. The lunch lines were too long to buy anything, so I didn't even try.

 I slumped down and sat down against the wall alone, pulling out my notebook and sketching a few things.

"That's really good."

 I nearly jumped, I didn't realize the approaching footsteps and Dean's voice at first, I ended up messing up on my sketch because of the jump.

 "I'm-I'm sorry. Uh, Would you like to come sit with me and my brother and his friends?"

 I nodded happily, following him to his lunch table with one hand holding my notebook and pen, the other holding my backpack. When we approach the table, to my surprise I saw my brother Gabriel and what I assumed was Dean's brother, and another boy I had seen in my first period class,

 "Well, Hello, Hello, Castiel." Gabriel smiled, I gave somewhat of a little smirk.

 "You know Cas?" Dean asked, surprised he knew my name.

 "Yep. This gay thing is my little brother."

 Quickly, I took out my notebook and scribbled down fast that I was not gay, even though the rumors around school said otherwise. Gabriel laughed. Sam had not even paid attention to us, he just kept on looking like studying with the other boy, his long brown hair falling into his face as he jotted things down.

 "Sammy." Dean looked over at his brother, Sam looked up and looked at me for a moment.

 "This is Castiel, he's my friend."

Sam smiled a little

"Ah, yes. He's the one you have been talking about?"

 I give Sam a confused look. Dean talks about me? I wondered if it was good things. Sam noticed my confused look and laughed a little to himself before speaking.

 "Oh yes. Dean definitely talks about you. He goes on and on about his friend who he nicknamed you 'Cas' and he-"

 "Sammy, Shut up!" Dean growled, his cheeks tinting to a pink

 "I- I don't do that, Cas. I just-" He stops, realizing he called me Cas again.

 It was cute that he had given me such the nickname already, I just smiled at Dean while he was blushing furiously.

 When the third bell rung, I had to go to my Art class, which Dean was also in. He was in my History, Art and P.E. class, I had found that out earlier when we traded schedules to see what classes we had.

\+ + +

 Our art teacher, Mr. Harvelle, had instructed us to paint whatever inspired us. I could already tell this art teacher was the cool, laid back and chill teacher that everyone wanted to have.

 I began to paint one of my favorite bands, Nirvana, since music inspires me. Dean, of course, was standing beside me. His canvas still empty and blank. I, again, brought my notebook out and wrote down to Dean.

  _having troubles what to paint?_

"Ha, um.. Yeah. I'm not much of the artist either." Dean nodded

_just paint what inspires you, Dean._

Dean shrugged, Silence lingered in the room for a few moments as I continued to paint.

 "Um, you know, the things that Sammy said earlier, they weren't true. I mean- they were but they also weren't-"

 I chuckled gently, with Dean smiling as well, and rubbing the back of his neck out of nervousness.

  _I thought it was cute that you called me and consider me as a friend._

"Well.. We are friends, aren't we? I mean, you're the closest I have to a friend here." Dean explained, I nodded, a smirk on my face.

  _So, friends?_

 "Friends." Dean smiled.

"Hey, um, after school do you think you'd want to come over to my house and hang out?"

 I nodded again, an even bigger smile on me. It was odd, that I had only known this boy for a few hours, but yet he was the person that had made me the happiest all day.


	4. Chapter Three

\+ + +

Gabriel and Michael had decided to go with me to Dean's house, in spite of the fact that they didn't much trust Dean, and they wanted to hang out with Sam as well. We all rode in Dean's car, with Sam next to him and my brothers in the back seat with me. His car blasted older grunge bands that I loved, he played some of my favorite bands, and some id never heard. I wanted really badly to talk to Dean, but I couldn't. I just signed to Michael the whole way to Sam and Dean's house.

\+ + +

When we walked into their house, my brothers and I were warmly greeted by their mother, Mary Winchester. She was really nice, I could tell she was an amazing mother just by the way she acted.  

 We were all lead upstairs by Sam, whom lead my brothers into their gaming room which consisted of three beanbags and a couch, two different gaming consoles, and three remotes to each system.

"Sweet!"

Gabriel smiled, dropping his school stuff down next to a beanbag chair and sitting down in it. Sam laughed lightly

 "You guys wanna play?"

 "Hells yeah!" Gabriel said, eager to play on a game console.

 Michael, Gabriel and Sam were the only ones that ended up playing video games. Dean and I sat on the couch together and watched silently, changing glances with each other every so often.

 At one point, Dean leaned over and whispered to me to follow him as he got off the couch. I stood up and followed Dean a room or two over from the game room. He had lead me into a bedroom, a bedroom with many posters of older bands, two guitars on their stand, a bed, and a tv.

 "Yeah, um, this is my room."

 I look around, amazed. It looked so much better than the room I had. I grabbed my notebook and pen back out from my backpack so I could talk to Dean.

_it's amazing, Dean_

"I guess you could say that." He smiled, we both sat on the floor crisscross directly across from each other.

 "Doesn't it ever get exhausting? Having to write down everything you want to say?"

I thought about that for a moment.

  _I don't usually have to write, my brothers and I communicate by my sign language._

Dean nods in understandment.

 "It must suck. I am sorry, Cas. I wish you could speak."

  _Me too._ _  
_

  _you've learned a lot about me, I want to know more about you._

"Well, what do you want to know?" He asked, giggling.

_Anything :)_

 "Well, first of all, I am sixteen, I have two siblings, Sam and Charlie. My father left my mom for his hunting business about two years ago. I love old punk rock and grunge music, and um.. I'm also bisexual." Dean described himself.

 I gasped in excitement, I would've had no clue that Dean is bisexual. his meant I had a chance that i could, maybe, at one point date Dean Winchester. Yes, I was gay, and yes, I liked Dean. But what's not to like about the cute, freckled, blonde boy?

 "You.. probably don't like me now that you know of my sexuality.." Dean mumbled looking down I scribbled on my notebook

  _no, I don't hate you at all. I support you, and also, I am gay._

"Really?" Dean smiled as his beautiful green orbs brighten up, I nodded happily.

 "I'm relieved to hear that. I thought I was going to lose my only friend." Dean sighed, the obvious relief lifting from his shoulders. I look over to his guitar stand, holding the acoustic and electric guitar.

  _do you play?_

Dean's eyes follow my line of sight "Guitar?" He asked, I nodded.

"Yeah, I do actually."

  _can you show me?_

 Dean went to his guitar and picked up his acoustic, then came and sat back where he was sitting; across from me with the guitar on his lap. He looks at me and then looks away, smirking to himself in neverousness, but then, he starts to play. To my surprise, he starts singing too.

 "Company, always on the run Destiny, is the rising sun Oh, I was born 6-gun in my hand Behind the gun I'll make my final stand That's why they call me.. Bad company, I can't deny." He sings softly, his soft warm voice in sync with the smooth guitar strumming.

 Honestly, Dean was really talented at this-singing and guitar playing. When he ended the song, I smiled clapped.

  _you're very talented. and you're voice is the most amazing thing I've ever heard_.

 "Thank you, so much, Cas." Dean smiled, thanking me. I heard Sam and Gabriel walk into the room

"Aye, Castiel, it's time to leave. Mom wants us home for dinner." Gabriel says, I sigh sadly.

 I didn't want to leave. I wanted to talk to Dean forever, but then again, I'd be able to see him at school the next day.

 "Goodbye, Cas."

I waved a silent goodbye, but smiled a smile that said a thousand words.


End file.
